I Sometimes Wish I Was Dead

2002-08-01T18:21:00.000-04:00

Rock and roll, i've Moved!!

Yup, to my new home at polished.org. Much thanks to Marissa for that ^___^ This blog will still be here, but i'm only going to post when i'm having problems with my MT account (which i doubt very much.)

See you at the new home!

2002-08-01T12:42:00.000-04:00

Well, my interview went ass. The old guy and the ass-kissing Harry Potter freak are probably going to get call backs. I didn't think i did too badly until the lady handed us sheets of paper that we had to fill out. It was essentially a test paper u_u Had some basic math and arrangement of names in alphabetical order. I think i did well on the part where they asked three books you enjoyed .__.;;;;;

Hm, it appears i am too retarded to work in a book store. Oh well, no surprise there, really. I think i'm going to go make a chicken burger since (for once) we have Miracle Whip in the house.

2002-07-31T22:18:00.000-04:00

*throws rotting fruit at blogger*

2002-07-31T19:59:00.000-04:00

You know what i did today? I walked over to Liam's house in the SWEALTERING heat to sit under a bright lamp and paint his RPG figurines for Warhammer while he sat behind me on the computer killing stuff. Feck, was it hot in there.

And you know what, i wouldn't trade that afternoon for anything. Anything at all.

2002-07-31T11:39:00.000-04:00

Alrighty... that freaky third-face layout for my comments is really starting to spook me. At least i'm so fed up with failings and inability to use the damn program that i find it more funny than infuriating @______@;;;;;

2002-07-31T11:27:00.000-04:00

This is... odd. I braved editing the comments template and instead of there being errors abound it created some weird hybrid template from the old one and the new one. Um... ya... okay... this is... different...

2002-07-31T11:11:00.000-04:00

Okay... so the archives thing is now working. At least it should be. It better be... uh... *looks about nervously* I still have to change the template for the comments, but you know, due to my experience with editing things in MT, i think i might just leave them... u_u;;;

2002-07-30T16:27:00.000-04:00

I feel like taking a shower so i think i will. One can never be too clean. Pheh, and maybe it'll get my mind off things.

2002-07-30T12:40:00.000-04:00

Heh heh. This is true on many levels. Which is pretty saddening when you think about it...

What Kind of Relationship is Right For You?

2002-07-30T11:53:00.000-04:00

Moveable Type is being such a turd today.

Build entry 'Can it be?' failed: Build error in template 'Date-Based Archive': Error in tag: You used an 'MTEntryTrackbackData' tag outside of the context of an entry; perhaps you mistakenly placed it outside of an 'MTEntries' container?

I don't even know what that means!! I even replaced the "bad" code with the original stuff that was there and the freaking error still pops up *dies of frustration*

2002-07-30T01:12:00.000-04:00

Now, now, Moneypenny, that was fun...

My bumper sticker reads:

In English: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
Take the quiz.

2002-07-29T17:33:00.000-04:00

Haven't felt much, doing much, or like much recently. Hmm...

2002-07-28T13:53:00.000-04:00

Don't you just love mature people who hack into your friend's ebay account and bid on stuff to screw her over. Yeah, i think it's absolutely hilarious too. I'd hate for her to do anything, you know, juvenile.

Wanker.

Heh heh. Funny thing is, i already have a little stock pile of evidence. I mean, it won't accomplish much, but at least it's here *pats harddrive*

2002-07-28T12:13:00.000-04:00

music: Shohmyoh (Akira Soundtrack)

Today is the first time in a long time where i actually woke up hungry. Weird o_o. Lately (as in the past three nights) i've been experiencing temporary insomnia. I do fall asleep, but it takes and awful long time to. Or at least it feels like a long time. Last night i didn't get in till past one, i went on the computer for a bit, and was in bed 2-2:30am. I didn't fall asleep till well past 4am. Arrgh. And i felt tired too, so it's not as if i was lying wide awake in my bed. I tried reading for a bit, but that didn't help too much. I eventually put The Queen is Dead in my discman and listened to I Know it's Over and There is a Light that Never Goes Out repeatedly. Only took about two songs before i actually started to doze off. Ahh... The Smiths never fail me.

2002-07-27T17:54:00.000-04:00

music: Tetsuo (Akira Soundtrack)

OMG!! OMG!! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! *runs around in circles*

I just got a group interview for Chapters on Thursday!! This place is the department store of books! *deep breath* I DON'T want to get my hopes up... but that would still be pretty FUCKING cool if i could work their. That has to be one of my dream jobs, working in a book store *hangs head* When she asked me why i dropped my resume there, i told her because i liked books. I felt like a turd after, but oh well. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

2002-07-26T23:26:00.000-04:00

music: Kaneda (Akira Soundtrack)

Wait till it's dark and stormy out and THEN you'll realize just how spooky sounding the Akira soundtrack really is.

2002-07-26T21:20:00.000-04:00

It's sad when your day consists of downloading heavy metal music u_U;;;;;;;;;;;

2002-07-26T10:55:00.000-04:00

One thing i will never understand is why people in Australia don't have screens on their windows. All sorts of crap can fly into your house- and i know for sure they have some freaky looking bugs there.

I only bring up this issue because my Aunt phoned the neighbor the other night and gave them a friendly heads-up to the seven-foot python coming up thier lawn. To which her common law husband replied that that was the reason he never leaves the windows open at night.

If i ever do move there, i'm taking some damn screens with me u_u

2002-07-25T12:56:00.000-04:00

music: Driving Your Girlfriend Home (Morrissey)

Doing mad HTML today. I think i might actually get somewhere with it to! I even solved my layout problem for the new blog, so hopefully i'll be able to post the new link tomorrow if all goes well. I started a little on my new personal site, but not much as i'm still thinking about the name u_u What i'm really crossing my fingers for is getting all of this done before i find a job because i know once that starts, i'm probably going to have very little free time for idle computer fun. Yarr.

2002-07-24T23:20:00.000-04:00

To quote Sameer from Office Space: Mother shitter!

Well, this blows goat nuts. I wonder if it'll be like that lame movie Impact or like that other lame movie Armageddon? Or maybe like the computer game The Dig. I like that scenario best. Bloody hell, i may be useless, but i don't want to die. Especially from oversized space junk O____o

2002-07-24T22:11:00.000-04:00

I've reached a new low. I have ICQ, AOL and MSN message systems open awaiting people to log in so i can talk. Yarrr. I suck. *coughs*amywaits1200yrs*coughs*dalles_@hotmail.com*coughs*165671959*coughs*

Hm, something nasty must be stuck in my throat tonight ^^;;;

2002-07-24T11:39:00.000-04:00

I'm very shocked at one of my friends right now. I won't go into details for various reasons, but the short end of the stick is that she very cruelly told off one of my closest friends. And out of the blue no less. I didn't want to butt in, but i asked if i could see the messages that were sent, and well... i'm very apalled by them. Not in the "oh my dainty eyes hath been soiled" but just from the sheer malice and contempt of her words. And these two were once very close... i cannot copmrehend how much of a bitch somebody can be so fast, and to treat their past history as something disposable. And the utter hypocracy in the messages!! Everything she accused my friend of in the letter, she's just as guilty herself- if not more so. I don't know what she hoped to accomplish by sending it, but i can tell you, those who do know about what happened are not impressed in the least. I try to keep my nose out of other people's business- i'll talk about it if they want me to, and i'll lend advice, but i won't go fight other people's battles. But this... i'm very tempted to. One thing i don't stand for is when someone says something bad about a person that is close to me. And after this... i'm very tempted. But *deep breath* i must behave. Unless she decides to give me a piece of her mind too, in which case i'll (metaphorically) rip her face off.

2002-07-24T11:30:00.000-04:00

Frigging MT tags. So i finally got back around to tweaking with my new blog AND the text in the blog shows up, except now, whenever i add more tags into the layout NOTHING shows up. WTF? And when i try and post something, it says there's an error in the code.

*sighs* I don't think i'm ever going to get this set up. Well, maybe one day, when i feel like being UNlazy ^__^;;;;;

2002-07-22T13:26:00.000-04:00

Nyuk, nuyk, nyuk. I have created my writing blog. However, i will not be providing the link until i know it will get used on a semi-regular basis >__<

2002-07-22T12:44:00.000-04:00

*sighs*

I'm feeling a little better today. I had one of those nights where everything that could have possibly reminded me of how much of a screw-up i am came up. Not purposely- and not that it's anything specific either. Which is worse because i know this is going to happen a lot more often now, so i'm just going to have to figure out a way to deal with it. Maybe i'll talk of it here sometime... or maybe i won't. Though i'm sure i've mentioned it a half-dozen times already u_u;;

2002-07-22T01:29:00.000-04:00

My life, it seems, is right before me in my hands. Like little pieces of wood, or lego... or something. Just there, in my hands. Except, my hands are too small- or there's too much, so it starts to fall out. And while i'm worring over all that leaves my hands, the few that remain are neglected, and slip out when i'm not watching. And so, my friends, i am left with nothing.

Hoo-boy, i feel like a sorry sack of shit tonight. Apologies.

2002-07-21T10:56:00.000-04:00

music: Land Down Under (Men at Work)

I'm the same way as you. I do want to get married one day- but i also know that people change, things change, and just because you say you're going to always be there for someone (and even believe it to) still doesn't mean you will a year from then. So that makes me leery. I know everybody isn't like that, but there are enough to make a girl jaded. People suck, but there's nothing that can be done u_u

2002-07-20T20:34:00.000-04:00

I bought a studded belt, fool that i am u_u

2002-07-19T22:41:00.000-04:00

"Enjoy the Silence"
by Depeche Mode

Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

2002-07-19T18:46:00.000-04:00

Grr. Arrgh. Stupid tags.

2002-07-19T18:08:00.000-04:00

Figured out the FTP thingy- it was just dumbness on my part. Till i figure out the Moveable Type tags for my new blog, i'm just going to keep using this one. I'm crossing my fingers on being able to move soon. I doubt i'm going to go out tonight, so maybe i'll do it then.

Now, with that out of the way, EVERYONE (yes, even you behind the curtains) go worship Marissa on her generosity and coolness for hosting me ^________^

2002-07-19T16:30:00.000-04:00

WTF?! Christmas music is playing on the radio O_o

I did go to Chapters but didn't really accomplish anything. I sat on the patio and tried to write in my book, but i didn't get much of anything. Then i started feeling all headachy so i left. Hm, Starbucks also screwed up my order, but i didn't realize until i took a big gulp. Oh well, at least it still tasted good. The day wasn't a total bust though, i stopped into Old Navy on the way and found this really cute skirt for $10. It's a bit short for my liking (or dislike for my legs) but oh well, i needed a pick-me-up. I noticed today that when i'm feeling down i like to spend money. Whether i have it to spend liberally or not.

2002-07-19T12:23:00.000-04:00

I am so restless today. I wish i had a car and a liscense so i could go out for a drive. I don't know why i am either, which irritates me. It (looks) like a nice day out- sunny but with a cool breeze; the perfect kind of day. I think i might to to Chapters and sit out on the Starbucks patio and... well, i'm not sure what i'll do, but it's better than sitting in the house. Maybe i'll take my little black book and ramble on in it, or a notebook and start to write a bit. Or maybe just sit and enjoy the weather, or space out into the deepest reaches of my mind. Or maybe i could read. That would make sense because Chapters IS a bookstore and that's what everyone does when they go to sit in Starbucks. I'm half tempted to see if anyone wants to come with, but at the same time i don't want any company at all. I can't decide what i want today, and that's extremely frustrating u_u

2002-07-19T11:04:00.000-04:00

I don't know what is scarier: FTP or that i don't know how to use FTP u_u;;;

2002-07-17T17:13:00.000-04:00

Principle Skinner: "Do you kids want to be like the real UN, or do you just want to squabble and fight?"

Ha ha. The Simpsons rock. Anyway, i've narrowed down some names for my personal site- opinions are always welcome. These arn't necessarily the final choices, but you know... so yeah, i don't have anything better to do today but this and swear at kylegush and 20megsfree. The end. *ahem* Get the Balance Right, Two-Minute Warning, Black Celebration, and You Just Haven't Earned it Yet, Baby.

(All are Depeche Mode songs -.- except the last, which is The Smiths)

I'm also thinking of starting a writing journal at diary-x.com, so i need a name for that as well: Dream On, Never Let Me Down Again, Waiting for the Night and I Want the One i Can't Have (Same credits deal as above u_u)

So, to quote a novel what's it going to be then, eh?

2002-07-17T14:30:00.000-04:00

Internet is still ticking me off >.<

Total food count for today:

- cup of almond tea
- glass of orange juice
- 6 of those Werther's chocolate candies ^^;;
- end of a watermelon. I just took a spoon to that sucker

Hm, i fear the day where i must care for myself for more than 2 days. Ph33r!!!

2002-07-17T13:46:00.000-04:00

music: It's Called a Heart (Depeche Mode)

Man, the internet on the computer is being ghetto slow today. Boourns! It's takes forever to load anything- heck, half the time it doesn't and i get that MSN default 'this does not exist' page. Blech. I wanna surf.

2002-07-17T13:11:00.000-04:00

music: Never Let Me Down Again (Depeche Mode)

Took me all morning, but i made a new blog layout for here. It's actually really cool looking, which is good because lately i've been feeling very UNcreative u_u Now i gotta work on The Site Formerly Known as Shake the Disease. For starters, i should think of a name. When i get a few, i'll post them here for opinions ^___^

2002-07-17T09:57:00.000-04:00

Really??? It's cool to wake up to some good news now and then *^^*

2002-07-17T01:49:00.000-04:00

Ghost's "TO DO" list (in no particular order):

- Move Shake the Disease to new server
- Change page name of Shake the Disease to something better
- New blog layout
- New layout for Shake the Disease
- Claris Project page design (since i told Lyn i'd do one, but recently, my hand refuses to draw anything BUT crap u_u)
- Think of good things to write in here

I wonder how much of this i'll get done in a concievably short amount of time. Maybe i'll be lame and wake up early tomorrow and get some of the designing done. Even though i really don't feel like it right now.

2002-07-16T17:44:00.000-04:00

Testing. Probably going to delete it in a moment >.<

Or not.

Just testing off-site image linking since the place i'm currently at will be no more ;_; Image is of Moz (aka. Morrissey) He's cool. He used to be part of The Smiths way back when. Since i'm at 20megsfree.com i'm going to have to move everything, and update the tags in my journal. But, i, the lazy beast probably won't for a while. I won't kid you, i really don't feel like it at the moment.

I also want candy. Like the good, 100% artificial flavor-and-color kind. Yee haw.

2002-07-16T17:27:00.000-04:00

Le sigh. Kylegush.com is closing their free hosting due to their mis-management of bandwidth or whatever. Shake the Disease will soon be no more. Guess it's back to Angelfire with me, barring extreme laziness.

2002-07-14T23:24:00.000-04:00

Marrisa, I must thieve your face ------> o_. It's the perfect "i just woke up and had a bright light shone in my face" expression.

2002-07-14T18:41:00.000-04:00

Lyon's Law of Hesitation:
He who hesitates is last.

As carrier of that name, i really should listen to (techincally) my own advice sometime >.< But then again, my intuition and "spur-of-the-momentness" is usually wrong or in bad taste. Except when hucking meringue is concerned.

2002-07-12T22:18:00.000-04:00

"In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities"

~Janos Arany

2002-07-12T18:52:00.000-04:00

Manhunter! MANHUNTER!!!! Oh man, this movie is going to be fucking sweet. The book was amazing, but this.... *drools* (I should ignore the fact that i haven't had the viewing pleasure of Hannibal or Manhunter- aka. this movie circa the 1980s yet)

2002-07-11T18:40:00.000-04:00

music: Just Like Heaven (The Cure)

I'm all happy because i bought new bras and matching undies. Yeah, i know that's pretty sad but i only have two bras that fit me properly X_x and i finally got a thong so now i feel special X_x;;;;;;;; Ferra is worse though, she was trying to find a thong but kept finding normal underpants and i told her to just get it anyway, and she was like: "i don't want the diaper underwear" WTF? But fear not, tighty-whities will always be my friend.

Wow, i've reached a new low when i can blog about undergarments >_<;;;;;;;;; I'm going to hang my head in shame for my unladylike ways and then go hide.

2002-07-09T16:29:00.000-04:00

Now THAT is freaky! *hides under sheets*

2002-07-09T11:32:00.000-04:00

As cashed in as Harry Potter has become, i have to admit, the trailer for the next movie actually looks really cool ^^;;

2002-07-09T09:42:00.000-04:00

Ugh. I really don't feel like going out today. Really don't. I'd much prefer just to stay in and read or do a little web design. But no, the cruel world has not permitted me to become employed yet so i must venture out into the concrete jungle that is my city and search for one. And i also have to meet Liam on his lunch break. Which i don't feel like doing anymore, but must regardless.

2002-07-08T23:46:00.000-04:00

Holy crap, i almost forgot. I went to the Sugar Mountain store on Elgin St. today while i was out with Ferra and Kenny and (i kid you not) there was a Jesus action figure for sale in there. It actually said: Jesus Action Figure on the box. Oh man, it was the funniest thing alive. And i'm not saying that to be anti-religious or anything because i would totally laugh at a Buddah action figure.

Even more so because you could have them fight and make up super powers and shite for them O_o

(Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........................ i am so going to Hell.)

2002-07-08T23:33:00.000-04:00

music: Girl Afraid (The Smiths)

Today was ghetto. I slept in, killed stuff on the computer, ate, read, killed more stuff, cleaned the bathtub, met Ferra and Kenny to go stalk Miss. Little, did not find Miss. Little but got drenched downtown from rain. Then came home soggy to a cold dinner. Wheee. My day rocked! NOT.

I did make a lunch date with Liam tomorrow. Finally! Something to look forward to. Well, aside from Ferra getting paid so we can go to the bra sale at Silk & Satin in the mall. Man, my days are PACKED i should take a day off in case i kill myself *snork* Why do i have the feeling this summer is going to be the most slowest, most unbearable summer ever. And i don't even have a job so i can't go buy alcohol or some other reality altering substance. Or at least a mute button for my parents.

Oh yeah, FINALLY bought the Apocalypse Now: Redux DVD. Now i just gotta wait for brother-dearest to find a free evening so he can come over and watch it with dad and myself. I'm also horridly tempted to pick up Labyrinth on DVD because i could have sworn i saw it for $15 at Music World a number of weeks ago. I know i say i'm broke, and i normally am, but i got two words for you: TAX RETURN. Booya! The one time the Canadian govornment doesn't suck.

2002-07-07T23:04:00.000-04:00

Beware the dancing banana. Or reprimand a monkey if you prefer.

2002-07-07T22:33:00.000-04:00

Before questions arise, the last line is not a blog plug >_<

Beware, the World is Out to Get Me

The world hates me
It bit me in the ass
I was foolish to think
That it would treat me any other way

Maybe a car will hit me
When i step out for the paper
Or a great downpour on my shoulders
Descending from a cloudless sky

The world is out to get me
So watch out
You might be next
I should bend over just a little more
To make it all easier in the end

Everyday is
Just the same
There's something i did
But shouldn't
Something i should do
But didn't

Life tripped me down the stairs
Then kicked me while i was down
How could i ever assume
Anything better than this?

Slam my head on the kitchen table
Smash my head against the bus stop post
It makes no difference
Whether i live
Or i die

Oh, i just sometimes wish i was dead

2002-07-07T15:10:00.000-04:00

You ever have one of those days where you want to do something, but try as you might, you can't get to doing in, and in the process, piss off zillions of people.

Yeah, it's been one of those days. I can't offically say today (while still not being over) has been the suckiest, most wastful, big fat ball of nothing.

2002-07-07T14:14:00.000-04:00

Ack! Jennifer Connelly was Sarah in Labyrinth. I can't believe i never saw that before. The world suddenly makes a whole lot of sense now... or something.

2002-07-06T19:40:00.000-04:00

It's funny (or maybe not) but Liam and i have this knack for having crappy days at the same time. So instead of having one all mopey and the other supportive, we're both just disgruntled and snarky towards each other. We realize we're doing that, apologize, then act all disgruntled again. It's a vicious loop folks.

Bon voyage, Lyn! I wish i was going to the beach (regardless to the fact that i had a mini-vacation last week.)

2002-07-06T13:14:00.000-04:00

Apparently there's a forest fire in the Gatineau Hills across the river in Quebec, and because of shifting winds, Orleans now smells like burning.

2002-07-06T10:52:00.000-04:00

Wow, it took me a looooooooong time to do this puppy. I feel so ashamed.

You can disappear when it's dark. Just like the invisible man! Kind of.

Which Claris Project character do you most resemble?
Surely you are dying to know.

2002-07-05T23:25:00.000-04:00

Wow, i've accomplished absolutely nothing this evening. Pheck.

2002-07-05T22:37:00.000-04:00

The Goldfinger show was great. While we were waiting in line, some old guy came out onto his balcony in the apartments across the street to do exercises in his underpants. We cat called him for a while (he didn't seem to mind which was funnier *^^*) It didn't start till 9pm, but and the two opening acts blew, but it was great. Simple Plan was one of the openings. Think of a younger sibling. You know the kind- irritating and always trying to copy you without actually achieving any kind of decent style. Well, that's Simple Plan. Damn were they bad. Wannabe punk is the worse kind. Anway, Alex and I kept flipping them the bird all through their set. Some guy with a mohawk next to Alex joined in. Except he had a lighter and held it behind his middle finger so it was illuminated in the darkness. Eventually Liam and the guys girlfriend joind in and we had a big swaying mass of middle fingers and he stuck his lighter behind all our hands for a while. It's neat to bond over mutual dislike. In between songs, Alex and i kept yelling at them to get off the stage (Hey! We weren't the only ones.) Anyway, at the very end, with our fingers waving, and insults flying the lead looked straight at us and then said "I hate you" really fast and really quietly. I feel all proud for pissing off Simple Plan.

(So what if i'm an ass that hangs out with even bigger asses. At least i can admit to it ^^;;; Punk fans should never be messed with. They can smell a fake 100 miles away.)

Anway, Goldfinger was awsome. Sadly, i never got around to listening to alot of their stuff before i went, so i didn't have as much fun there as i could of. The lead singer would actually crowd surf during songs ^^;; Alex went moshing for a bit, and apparently he stuck out his middle finger (it's a punk thing) at the lead when he was about to jump in and he looked directled at Alex then JUMPED ON HIM! Ha ha ha. He said his head still hurt from it the next day. And some guy tried to steal his hat so he kicked his ass and took it back. No doubt, it was some Simple Plan fan. Since they're the only ones dumb enough to do something that jerky (Well, according to Alex again.)

When we were walking back to Alex's van, we passes the Goldfinger tourbus and Alex, Liam, his sister and her friend stopped to talk (and for autographs.) I just sat on the curb. Why, you ask? Well, while i DO like Goldfinger, i'm not a big fan so that would be cheap (and wannabe-ish) of me to kiss ass for signatures. Part of me regrets it, but i'd feel dumber if i had.

I'm probably going to Warped Tour mid-August, so i'll be able to see them. And Bad Religion, NOFX, Reel Big Fish, No Use For a Name, etc, etc, etc. I can't wait.

I've turned into such a jerk now. I both hate and love it at the same time. I should recount my tale of hucking meringue with Alex sometime ^_^;;;;;;;;; Damn, i'm going to misss him when he skitters off to Humberg College in Toronto this fall.

2002-07-05T21:36:00.000-04:00

You know, i wish i was good at combining words with expressing myself. I want to write Liam a song/poem like Mable by Goldfinger. But damned if i can write anything good- or even think of it for that matter. Clever, cute and meaningful i will never achieve. "I gotta say that Mable, she's the bomb!"

2002-07-05T18:31:00.000-04:00

Ha ha ha. The bus i was on coming home crashed into another bus. OC Transpo sucks. There was a bus parked in waiting right by a corner and my bus was coming around the corner and half-way hit the ass of the bus and smashed it good .The back doors of the bus i was on got all mangled and busted. I found that incredibly funny and i still don't know why.

But it's been one of those days, you know, the one where you can't do anything right. My mom's been a little grumpy towards me today- did all my chores and had to redo the bathroom because it wasn't "good enough" or whatever. I don't think she was too pleased that i went downtown today either. I stopped into Record Runner to get a copy of The Queen is Dead and since Liam got a new backpack the other day, i bought a cross-buster pin (Bad Religion) for it. I couldn't even do that right. I looked at it when i got home and the cross is off center. Very off center.

Oy. I sometimes wish i was dead. Maybe later i'll tell all about the Goldfinger show i went to Wednesday. Alex, Liam, myself and some guy with a mohawk got Simple Plan to say they hated us. Boo-ya! They suck so it's all good.

2002-07-04T00:41:00.000-04:00

I really gotta stop listening to The Smiths; the depress the hell outta me.

But, damn, are they wonderful.

2002-07-03T09:52:00.000-04:00

*dramatic wail ala Planet of the Apes*

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suffice to say, i'll miss your blog tons. If ever the urge strikes you to start another, lemme know *^^* Just don't off and disappear entirely. I'd miss ya. Much.

2002-07-03T00:21:00.000-04:00

Hucking meringue is cool.

2002-07-01T15:41:00.000-04:00

Piece of shit Blogger. Okay, because i am so utterly PISSED OFF that i lost everything i wrote, this is going to be a very shortened version. I more exicited to show off all my photographs from grad and the cottage. Even though all of you have no idea who the hell anyone is ^^;;;

Thursday
This day was looooooong. Commencement was at 9am, but i had to show up early to get my gown. It was all alphabetized, which isn't all that great, except Joel was a seat over from me, so bored off our asses we were MSTing the ceremony. Ohhhhhhh.....such fun. He was wearing his visor with his grad cap too. Joel is the best. I gave a card to my art teacher after (and also learned she's moving to Washington state during the summer) and i hunted down my drama teacher. I gave him some fudge (long story...) and he gave me a big hug, which was nice. I think i'm going to miss him the most- even more than Miss. Little. I went to my hair appointment after. My hairdresser was running a little late, and half-way through she restarted putting my hair up u_u I got home around 3:30 and Ferra came over an hour later for photographs (as my dad has one of those old-school box cameras) We went to the garden party after where we met up with everyone. They all looked great, but i have to say (regardless that i'm currently attached) but Alex looked incredible!! He rented a black and white striped "zoot suit" (think ganster clothing from the 1920s)- it even came with spats!

I have a better picture of him, but it's on film and i won't be seeing that till the weekend ;_; (Oh yeah, that's me in the picture as well) My graduating class rented a double-decker bus to take us to the grad dinner, so that was kinda cool. Dinner was fine, and after there was a slideshow and video (which kind of sucked because the people who made it mostly put stuff of their friends in it) The dance also blew. All that was played was rap/hip-hop crap. I only danced for half of "Billy Jean" with Ferra and Alex. I felt bad after because Liam wanted a slow dance with me, but never got to. I went for a walk on the golf course around midnight with Alex, Michelle and Liam and apparently about a bazillion slow songs played then. I did want to dance with him, and also with Alex ^_^;;;;;;; Insanly bored, the lot of us went back to Liam's for a swim at around 2am and then some wanna-be sleep. Which i didn't get much of.

Friday
We went for an early morning swim (which was great. I LOVE swimming in the morning) and his mom was the coolest and made us crepes. I crawled home, showered and feel asleep on the floor listening to The Smiths. I migrated to my bed to continue the nap, but felt extremely gross when i got up. I pack all my crap up and was at Alex's by 7pm. We sat around for over an hour though waiting for Chirs to frigging show up- which sucked because by the time we got to the Cottage it was really dark out. For once, i actually got shot-gun which was cool because the ride was about an hour and a half. Alex moved his van so we could use the headlights to set everything up. I was going to sleep inside so didn't bother helping (mostly because i have no clue how one sets up a tent) We all sat around and had fun, i moved between the cottage and the fire. I got really tired and ended up sleeping in a tent because everyone inside didn't look like they would be retiting for a long while. Surprisingly, sleeping on dirt isn't that uncomfortable. Earlier Ferra and i got Kenny to sweep out all the bugs from the outhouse and forced him to stop on a few spiders in the process. It was weird though, becuase the outhouse has no door O_o I also found a bug in my shirt while Ferra and i were watching Kenny and i ran around and screamed until i shook it out. Ferra and i were laughing our asses off but everyone else was like, "what the fuck??" I have to say, the sky at night out there is the most beautiful and profound thing i have ever seen. I would have sat out there all night just staring if it weren't for the fact that it was so cold. Words cannot describe it's beauty...

Saturday
This was the best day ever. I got up around 9am and took some photographs of the surrounding area (which was georgous) I ran into Alex amd he showed Kenny and i where the beach was. And what a beach! (It's actually not on his property, but the owners don't mind that he uses it) It's a fair sized sand bar set on the Rouge River (that's rather large) and the Gatineau Hills tower off not even a mile away. He warned us about the current, but it wasn't bad. I didn't swim too far out because i didn't feel like getting dragged into the rapids down stream. I loved the river. Everyone joined us eventually and we all got into a massive mud fight! It was so much fun. We actaully had a lot of mud fights when we were by the beach (which was most of the day) Alex barbecued on the fire and half of the people there were drunk before 8pm. The rest of us sat around and talked for a long while. I turned in around midnight again.

Sunday
Sunday felt long. Alex's parents woke us up at 9:30am when they arrived, and we all joined the land of the living by eating and packing up. We did have enough time to go back the the beach which i was esthtatic about. All and all, 12 people came (but Kenny left Saturday morning because he's going to Amsterdam) On the way back we all stopped at a fry wagon in Alfred county which boasts they are the best chips in Canada. Which i believe. Halfway home everyone in the van decided to go for a swim in Liam's pool. It was really warm, but felt weird being in chlorine. I got home around 4 and took a NICE LONG SHOWER. Mmm....cleanliness. Everyone went back to Liam's again in the evening- i got to meet two guys from OSSSA Confrences Alex and Liam went to. Anyway, went for a late-night swim again and the evening was concluded by John leaning on the doorbell when he was leaving X_x I hope i get to see more of him though, he's rather funny.

Monday
Weeee. Canada Day! Surprisingly, i feel relatively awake, which is amazing considering that it's me. I'm going downtown later tonight, but went with Alex, Ferra and Angel to pick up and drop stuff off at Katie's house. I'm only mentioning this because Alex's van hates me. When i was getting in it i smashed my head on the top of the door frame, and like 10 minutes later Ferra accidentily slams my hand in the door!! Ouchie. Actually, my hand is fine, which i don't get. She didn't totally slam the door, but it was a pretty hard pull, and Angel said the door looked completely closed. I don't know how my hand isn't broken. I'm more relieved that it didn't get my knuckes, which i also don't know how happened. We'll call it dumb luck and never question it. My hand is a little bruised, but otherwise fine. Actually, i'm mostly pissed because the ring my Grandma bought me for grad got smashed up. Which blows because it's hand made and one of a kind. I'm pretty sure i can fix it, but still...

And that's all she wrote.

2002-07-01T14:29:00.000-04:00

Fuck that shit!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna cry!

I wrote up everything i did on my weekend AND I LOST IT ALL!!!!

BLOGGER IS SUCH A FUCKING LITTLE SKANK!

2002-07-01T10:50:00.000-04:00

Happy Canada Day!!

Also updated the dank pit with messed-up art and crap!poetry. Enjoy. (And yes, i'll tell you all how my weekend went. Not that any of you really care...)

2002-06-26T20:38:00.000-04:00

music: Cowgirl (Underworld)

Me: Do you want me to get you a cart?
Liam: No. I wanna look tough.
Me: Especially with all that fruit in the basket, huh?

(Myself, Liam and Chris went shopping with Alex for camping food. Was fun *^^*)

Well, this is going to be my last post till... well, either Sunday evening or Tuesday. Possibly Friday afternoon, but only to say i survived the ordeal ^_^;;; As i'm sure i've mention 10 000 times here before, tomorrow is grad day. Grad day being Commencement in the morning and then the dance and dinner in the evening. If i survive that i leave for Alex's cottage Friday evening, and come back sometime in the early afternoon. Then, if i don't get eaten by Bears and Wolves Canada Day is Monday. Tuesday will be "recovery" day i guess *lol*

Let's hope i don't trip on the stage tomorrow. I'll do a write-up of what insanities i did when i return. Wish me luck!

2002-06-26T14:08:00.000-04:00

I'm starting to wonder if i have a brain tumor... or something. I've had headaches for the past five days now, and in general, i find i get them very easily. While the tumor scenario is likely exaggeration (at least it better be >.<) i do know the humidity and what i eat probably factors into it. Direct sunlight too. I know sugar and stuff with a lot of preservatives do that to me, but i've been watching myself the past little while... Okay, i've let myself go with the sugar one a little, but it's not as if i've had alot.

I've upgraded to Advil as i think i'm developing an immunity to Tylenol u_u and Tomato Juice works really well. I'm not sure why. Anybody know any other good secrets (which would be helpful since i'm going camping in the middle of nowhere in 2 days...)

Ohhhhhhh.... the pain. Make it stop *curls up into a little ball and starts to whimper*

2002-06-25T23:11:00.000-04:00

"Don't look don't look", the shadows breathe
Whispering me away from you
"Don't wake at night to watch her sleep
You know that you will always lose"

~ The Cure

2002-06-25T15:57:00.000-04:00

music: The Sunshine Underground (The Chemical Brothers)

Nyahahaha. Liam got his hair cut, and now he looks all geeky and extra cute.

I went to Chapters to try and take advantage (literally) of their Buy 3 get one Free book deal because i bought 2 books seperately earlier this month (Forty Words for Sorrow and Purgatorio) and wanted to buy the last and get a freebie. No such luck. They had the same promotion earlier this year, and i'm willing to bet that's what a lot of people did. So much for my book fix.

2002-06-25T13:06:00.000-04:00

music: Voodoo People (Prodigy)

My school is a poo. They decided to put Commencement and the Grad Dance on the same day. I'm sure i've mentioned that plenty of times in here, but.... well..... it's fragging annoying is what. Thursday is going to be frigging nuts. I don't really want to go to grad all that much, but everyone is going so i know i'll eventually have a good time. Plus, i'm going camping the day after (Assuming that is, Alex organizes the darn thing...) so it'll be good to get away from it all.

And knowing me, i'm sure i'll rant and repeat again tomorrow. Wheela!

2002-06-24T11:06:00.000-04:00

Ahhh Commencement and Prom is on Thursday. I know i'm forgetting something. Like shoes... or something.

My parents really irritate me. They're great and all, but damnit, do they nag. They hassle me to know end about getting a job. When i'm not out looking, they nag me to go and manage to make me feel uncomfortable in my own freaking home. Even when i say i'm going out to look, they still nag me. Reminding me that i need money and i can't depend on them forever. Obviously i know that...... or else i bloody wouldn't be looking for a job! They bother me so much about i get down on myself, and very contemptous of them so i don't want to look just to spite them. I really wish they'd just lay off and let me do my own thing. Somtimes i wonder that they actually think i enjoy being broke. Uugh.

Still haven't told them about Liam. It's been what, 2 months now? I don't think they'll be mad, but defiantely "hurt" or some other guilt-tripping emotion. It's nothing personal, i just never talk or tell people about stuff. It's sad, really. Even worse, i'm going to Alex's cottage Friday with everyone, and no parents are going to be there. I know my mother is looking for an excuse to "forbid" me to go. She doesn't really have any power over me because of my age, but she can still make my life a living hell. So, if i tell her about Liam she'll think it isn't "appropriate" to go somewhere "unsuperivsed" with my boyfriend. Which would make me wonder if she's saying that because she believes it, or is just snarly about my not telling her about him. I do have to do it before Thurdsay, unless i wish to endure some ghetto-1950's talk about the mechanics of a relationship.

Again.

*stabs self in the eye* A fate worse than death. I think i'll just do it today.

2002-06-24T10:01:00.000-04:00

Her-moy-nee????????

*in a small voice* It's all too confusing.....

2002-06-23T12:34:00.000-04:00

I am so tired. But i yearn to go out today... and spend my non-existant money. The weather is too nice out to be wasted writing some lame short story. Even more so when it's atmospheric... and this house ain't scary.

2002-06-23T09:59:00.000-04:00

music: Monestary (Diablo II)

I started writing a short story about a guy who hides from the inclimate weather inside a ruined tower... little does he know it's haunted with zombies and shite. I adequately titled it "The Tower". Meh, at least i'm writing again. Didn't get too far because Alex called and i went to his place (his place being better than home) Liam showed up too (well, actually he was already there) and we sat around outside for a while, trying to find more people, cursing Alex for drinking (because he can't drive anywhere) and letting the bugs eat us. Once the mosquitos had drained half our blood, i walked with them to pick up a pizza, and then we watched Harry Potter.

Yeah, i haven't seen the Harry Potter movie. For shame.

I liked it though. They changed it from the book a bit (l'm real anal about stuff like that) but nothing major or anything. It's bad watching anything with Alex though, because he always adds in inappropriate, but always humorous comments. All through the movie, he kept slingshoting between how bitchy Hermoine (or how ever it's spelt, i don't even know how to pronounce the freaking thing...) and how Harry and Ron wanted to do it with her, and in the later books they would, etc, etc. Eh, it's a "you had to be there situation", Alex tends to be like that. He also figured out the secret of that forest nobody is allowed in. Not monsters, a whino with a paper bag with a liquor bottle sticking out, and slurring "Got a quarter, buddy?"

Yeah, you definately had to be there. Alex is the best.

Anyway, i like the movie. The chess game at the end was very cool. I also like Snape (mostly because Alan Rickman kicks ass. And i DID like him before the HP craze... circa Robin Hood when he was the Sheriff. Ahhh.... those were good times) Anyway, Snape was very cool. Excuse me while i go on a Snape tangent and how i want to have 10 000 of his babies. I found it amusing how his "creepy" behavior wasn't very creepy, it was more weird... and funny. But in the good, "wow, your lame attempt at being threatening is turning me on" sense. And all the black he wears, that's pretty sweet.

Okay, i'm done now.

Suffice to say, i should read the rest of the series now. I did like the books, they are entertaining................. i just don't understand the absolute craze over them. And all the crappy merchandise. If i were J.K. Rowling, i'd be damn embarassed by now. It's times like these that Capitalism is devil spawn. But i gotta say, your opinion about the books was very refreshing.

2002-06-22T18:25:00.000-04:00

I like the Sunshine Underground by The Chemical Brothers. It's cool, i also believe it falls under the "progressive trance" category of music. It's not weird, but somehow it still has the power to mess me up. If that makes any sense at all...

Tis good stuff.

And i am still very bored, and lazy too. There's lots of stuff i should be doing, but i don't feel like it. Could be the humidity. Probably is the humidity. I think i'll go take a shower, maybe write something while i sit and wait patiently for someone to call and do something. Remember, me lazy today. Me too lazy to organzie something.

(Me also too lazy to use correct grammar X_x;;;;;;)

2002-06-22T18:00:00.000-04:00

I am so very bored.

So bored in fact, i finally downloaded AIM. Hassle me @ amywaits1200yrs

(It's a long story, don't ask. I'm still Ghost.)

2002-06-22T16:14:00.000-04:00

Well, the protest was a bust. Less than 150 people came out, and the radio and papers made it out to be a giant swarm of a protest. Hah. There were more cops than activists (and believe me, there was very little police presence) Suffice to say, it was an experience, and i did get a few shots. I think i might go on Wednesday. You know, because i'm a nut ^^;;

2002-06-22T15:04:00.000-04:00

Villains fear me.
Heroes envy me.
Jennifer Lyon is...
The Country Western
Sleepwalker

2002-06-22T09:51:00.000-04:00

music: Mephisto (Diablo II)

Yeah, i actually downloaded game music from Diablo II. How geeky is that?

Well, in a few hours i'll be gonig downtown to watch the protesters parade around. My mother was a little apprehensive about it, but surprisingly, overall, she seems okay with it. So does my dad. I thought they were going to chew me out. I think finally they realize that i'm grown up and need to make stupid decisions for myself ^^;; I'm a little worried though, because a lot of the protesters don't want their photograph taken and tend to get very confrontational when they are photographed, or see a camera. I'll fucking kick some major ass if anything happens to my new Nikon. Kick some ass and break some Hippie legs. I have some black-and-white film on me, so my photos are going to look real cool when they're developed. I'll post anything good that i take here for all to view.

Wish me (the fool) luck! Actually, wish my camera luck more than me. If i break, i can heal. Now, as for the Nikon... *hugs camera in a protective fashion*

2002-06-21T21:31:00.000-04:00

Oh my, oh my. Is it ever HOT here. And humid. I hate humidity. It is vile and incapacitates me. I' am so very bored too. I think everyone is doing stuff and i'm left all by my lonesome. Should have gone to that punk show with Alex *grumbles*

2002-06-21T15:52:00.000-04:00

BULL CRAP.

Went to see my brother today. Actually, i had to drop off some of his medication because he's going away for a few days. It was a good visit as i haven't seen him in a while. Also went away with a copy of the new Pennywise CD so it's all good ^^;;

It's been darn hot here the past few days... but no complaints. I like it when it actually feels like summer here. I celebrated my first day of freedom by cleaning my room. Yes you heard me, but it desperately needed tidying- and i'm doing a thorough job too, vaccuming under furniture and everything. I'm still not done yet too, but when i am, it'll be sweet. My room already looks different, like i've moved without actually moving.

Tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thurday my city is getting trashed. Yeah, that's right. The fucking G8 protesters have camped out here because Kananaskis is too out of the way. The wankers. There's a "peaceful" protest tomorrow where everyone is just in a parade holding sign and whatnot. They SAY it's going to be non-violent, but interestingly, the leaders for it have not denounced violence at all, so we'll have to see. Then on Wednesday and Thursday is when the summit is actually being held in Alberta, so that when things are expected to get roudy, and the cops brutal. I don't entirely agree with how much a police state it turns into, but 90% of the protesters are violent, or just "along for the ride" or mental gimps from all the shit they smoke, so you know what, the morons should get a billy club to the back. I can't stand people like that.

I think i might go downtown tomorrow and i'm going to try and sneak there on Wednesday... not to protest, but to see, and to form an opinion. Plus, who am i kidding... it's a golden photo opportunity that i plan on taking full advantage of.

I have to admit, it don't really know anything about the G8 and what the protesters stand for. I know it has to do with capitalism and big corporations and how "wrong" it is, but that's all. I've tried (and failed) by finding information from both sides on the internet, so if someone cares to send me and unbiased explanation as to what it's fully about, i'll love you forever *^^*

2002-06-20T19:11:00.000-04:00

"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness"

~Bertrand Russell

So why don't i listen to him then? I really should, it would solve a few things.......

2002-06-19T22:15:00.000-04:00

I © The Cure. I don't know how i was such a casual listener to their music till now. I was browsing their lyrics the other day, and strangely, it surprised me how peotic most of their songs are. Beautifully crafted.

Secrets
Secrets
Share with another girl
Talking all night in a room
All night
Everything slowing down
I wish I was yours ...

Strangers
Nobody knows we love
I catch your eyes in the dark
One look relives the memory
Remember me
The way I used to be

See... that's what i'm talking about. The song Burn is another good example. They rock. I © The Cure. But i ©©©©© Depeche Mode even more ^^;;;

2002-06-19T19:38:00.000-04:00

New layout!

I thought i'd pick something "brighter" considering it's summer, and i'm done school now. I also love The Catcher in the Rye, it's actually probably my favorite book now that i think of it. I was browsing e-bay one day and i came across a first edition copy of it, and snatched the photo the seller took of it. Ohhh...... i'd love to own a copy like that sometime.

I also happened to delete my archives in the blog........... little help???

2002-06-19T12:50:00.000-04:00

Oh yeah, did i mention...

I AM DONE!

Sayonara school, while fun at times, i still despise thee. But now i'm free to run a play in the streets... so perhaps i will.

2002-06-19T12:12:00.000-04:00

Mmm... World in my Eyes, what a great choice. That song is wonderful, and very........ sexy ^^;; I never thought you could describe a song as that... then i was shown the world in your eyes *melts* I wish someone with the initials D and G would serenade me with that one. Too bad they don't sing it in tours anymore.

I am such a geek.

2002-06-18T22:03:00.000-04:00

Come for the layout, stay for the hypno buttons.

2002-06-18T17:26:00.000-04:00

Exams... bleh. One down, one more to go. By 11 am EST i'll be a free woman.

And wow, i gotta say Korea's beating of Italy in the World Cup surprised me. Those poor, hot Italians- Uh, I mean, talented...

2002-06-17T20:56:00.000-04:00

This is not a joke. My friend Joel worded it best... the world is being fed-exed striaght to hell.

2002-06-17T19:42:00.000-04:00

Damn. That's pretty accurate *__* (but seriously now, i have to study. Go away.)

You are a dreamer. Constantly filling your mind with fantasies, you withdraw inside yourself in order to experience these more clearly. You dislike people and the distractions they cause. You are eccentric and lack a firm grasp on reality. You experience a wide range of emotions, and can often times be dangerous to yourself and others. You need to focus more on the real world.

Your song is: Solitary Shell

Which degree of inner turbulence are you?

This quiz was made by Dionae

2002-06-17T10:03:00.000-04:00

Okay, so i fixed the watercolor so i can at least look at it now X_x;;

The Asper family is the spawn of the devil. They own a monopoly of Canadian newspapers and are rabid Liberal supporters. A number of weeks ago, a huge article was printed about the corruption of our Prime Minister and what happens... the editor is FIRED. It's like this with all the newspapers, you cannot print a bad thing about the Liberal government lest rabid dogs chew at your leg. Apparently they own papers all around the globe too... so who the hell knows what important artice or editorial they're banishing from the eyes of Australia or Ireland or wherever. Censorship of the press is most vile.

Now, if you'll excuse me, i must flee and return to my studies.

2002-06-16T23:03:00.000-04:00

FUCK!!!! I just ruined my watercolor! And it's not as if i screwed up at the start... IT WAS THE LAST FREAKING THING! I was so happy too, i thought it was going to be my best one to. I shirked studying to finish it. I think i might actually cry..........

2002-06-16T19:07:00.000-04:00

My tea was in the second most obvious place; the microwave. The first most obvious place being my hand.

2002-06-16T11:11:00.000-04:00

I am offically an old woman now. I poured a cuppa tea, but i'll be damned if i know where i put it. My mom can't find it either. And it's a bright blue mug too, so it's not as if it blends in with the scenery. I feel so..... senile.

2002-06-15T23:17:00.000-04:00

Okay, i need some help here. My head feels hung over, yet i have had not a drop to drink. You figure that one out.

2002-06-15T10:22:00.000-04:00

Okayyyyyyy....... after much fiddling and signing up for a new account just to get access to a different login i have successfully updated SHAKE THE DISEASE with new layout (and one i'm already semi-bored of) and a few poems. I feel all proud for the lame problem solving. Horray for me.